1 Samuel 24:1-21

We sabotage relationships when we believe conflict won’t or shouldn’t happen. 

1 Samuel 24:1-14 

Conflict will sometimes be a problem in our relationships; however, approaching conflict in an unhealthy way will almost always sabotage our relationships in some way.

David's approach to the conflict with Saul:

• 1 Samuel 24:3-6 - David remembers Saul's position, even though he's frustrated by the person

• 1 Samuel 24:5-7 - David doesn't stoop to Saul's level

• 1 Samuel 24:5-7 - David refuses to justify cheap advice and quick fixes 

• 1 Samuel 24:5-7, 8-13, 22 - David establishes boundaries but stays open to resolution. 

• 1 Samuel 24:8-13 - David stays committed to right action and openness 

• 1 Samuel 24:14 - David fights for the heart of the conflict

• 1 Samuel 24:14 - David stays open to both God's correction and God's justice

Romans 12:18 

Saul's unhealthy approach to conflict (again, feel free to bring these up all at once if prudent or use multiple slides - sorry, it's a lot) 

• 1 Samuel 18-24 Saul attacks the person (with no respect for his/their power or position). 

• 1 Samuel 18 -24 Saul operates out of paranoia and insecurity

• 1 Samuel 22:6-23 - Saul is not concerned  about who he hurts to get what he want

• 1 Samuel 24:16-21- Saul ignores the real issue

• 1 Samuel 24:16-21 - Saul chooses methods that escalate high conflict 

• 1 Samuel 24:18 - Saul's is concerned with self-preservation, not reconciliation (with God, others, or David) 

• 1 Samuel 24:20 - Saul takes no ownership for his behavior

• 1 Samuel 24:22 - Saul chooses self-preservation over repentance

2 Cor 7:8-11

James 4:1-2

Fighting cleanly: https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/EHS+SKILLS+SESSION+7.pdf

How can the love of Jesus help you process your role in the conflicts you are facing today? 

• What does it ask you to own about the conflict(s)? 

• Who is asking you to move toward?  

• What is it asking you to leave behind or walk away from?

• Where is it inviting yo to fight...but cleanly?  How so? 

• Is it inviting you to either speak up or be silent? 

• Why does it really matter to you?